So, it's 1:30am on Friday night. We went out with a couple of our friends and had a blast. We designated the night to "no cancer talk", and it was wonderful.
Of course, like always, I have a hard time winding down after going out. So here I am 1:30am on a Friday night, wide awake.
and... it's still there. The big C. It's always still there.
That's ok. I may not like it, but it's ok. I am trying to work at acceptance. I bounce back and forth a lot between anger, grief, sadness, acceptance, and so on and so forth. I suppose that's normal.
I have a good support system, which I am grateful for.
We go and see my therapist on Sunday. She's fitting us in on her weekend. That meant a lot to me.
Monday morning I have my appointment with the surgeon for my consult. Then they are putting in the portacath.
then... begins treatments.
I just wish I was started already. I know, I know soon enough. To be honest though, this in-between stuff is driving me nuts.
I am having coffee with a friend tomorrow (technically today.) I am looking forward to seeing her. Tomorrow night we are going out again with some friends, which will be nice.
It seems as though a lot of what's going on lately is either emotional support - or distraction. Again, I suppose normal for where we are in the process.
I have a feeling i'll be up for a while though. So NOT tired.
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