We all fear mortality. Funny, I haven't feared my own since all this started. To be honest, after the initial diagnosis, I have just feared how hard the treatment would be.
The other day, the fear struck. I have been reading a lot about people who have died, some younger than I even, from the same type of lymphoma I have (Non-Hodgkin B cell follicular) I've read these things in the most random of places. And it hit me. Faced with my own mortality, and how much that terrifies me.
The doctors say I won't die from this. Granted, it may come back, but they are 'optimistic.' But that fear... it's outrageously terrifying.
Still, I try to remain as optimistic as the doctors, and for the most part I am. I think when one is standing face to face with their own mortality, fear is completely and totally normal. and rational.
I'll have to talk about this with my therapist when I see her tomorrow...
