And so the journey begins...

Tests, tests, and more tests.  Today begins our journey. One that neither of us had asked for. Gosh I'm scared. I'm exhausted. 

I am bouncing back and forth between just about every emotion in the book, all within minutes. And it just keeps cycling. 

Right now, I feel numb. 

I have my bone marrow biopsy today. Friday I have my PETscan. Monday I see my Oncologist, and I'll find out the game plan: what stage cancer I'm in, if it's spread, and when I start the big C (Chemotherapy.)

I try to keep reminding myself that no matter how bad it'll suck (and things WILL suck) - that I will go into remission and then it'll be over.  My fiance and I will still get married, and live long lives together. 

I try to keep reminding myself that everything really does happen for a reason.

I try to keep reminding myself that life really is beautiful. It's good. I am grateful. Despite all this crap going on.

I try to keep reminding myself to remain positive and optimistic.

I am NOT alone.