So here I am... A place I'd never thought I'd be. Let me preface by saying that I am a writer by heart. I am emotionally in tuned, and the way I best express myself is by journaling/blogging.
My name is Jessica. I'm 33 years old, and I have Cancer.
I was diagnosed 2 days ago. I had gone in for a simple endoscopy, expecting something wrong with my esophagus, or worst case scenario Celiac Disease. It was supposed to be simple.
Upon waking up I heard "we found a large mass." and "possible lymphoma."
My very loving, amazing, and supportive fiance was by my side.
Mass? Lymphoma? What? I thought.
They did a biopsy. They following several days waiting for the biopsy results were pretty rough.
My doctor called me one evening. "I want to see you tomorrow at 10am. Bring your family so we can discuss."
My fiance and I knew it was bad then...
At my appointment my fiance and father were by my side. L Y M P H O M A was about all I heard before I started crying. Before my mind shut off, almost as if that was a coping mechanism of sorts.
I saw the oncologist that day. The entire day was a blur.
I have Non-Hodgkin B Cell Lymphoma.
As of now I have a bone marrow biopsy on Tuesday. I have a PET scan on Friday. And I see my oncologist the following Monday. They want to make sure the cancer hasn't spread. They want to stage the cancer.
Everything is going to move so very fast from here on out... so fast.
I'm scared. I'm already exhausted. I have a perpetual headache. Did I mention I'm exhausted?
Right now it's 2:45am. I'm tired, but obviously not sleeping.
I need to sleep. I've been hearing a lot about good sleep, good nutrition, keep that immune system up for when you start chemo...
Did I mention I have a perpetual headache?
So here we go. This is going to be the biggest test of my life, I do believe. I am truly grateful for an amazing support system. A loving family, amazing friends, and the love of my life.
I decided to start this blog. I have a feeling I'll need a writing outlet. So here I am.
With that said, my name is Jessica. I am 33 years old and I WILL kick Cancer's Ass.
Jessica, you have already been through so much, and survived. You will beat this! Yesterday, I dedicated my yoga practice to you, and this morning I will do the same. I can't even imagine how frightened you are, but you have so many people to support you, so lean on them to help get you through this. Sending love and healing your way!
ReplyDeleteAngela, thanks. Much love and light to you as well :)
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